


The You and Me of Things

by Mauve_Avenger



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M, zutara holiday exchange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:40:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28005558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mauve_Avenger/pseuds/Mauve_Avenger
Summary: Katara and Zuko both have issues with timing
Relationships: Zutara - Relationship
Comments: 4
Kudos: 45
Collections: Zutara Holiday Exchange 2020





	The You and Me of Things

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Magnitude101](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magnitude101/gifts).



Of all the things Katara had ever thought herself to be, a coward was not one of them. And yet…

She had never told Zuko how she felt about him. She had time when they were in high school. Zuko had been one of her closest friends, and spent more time at her house than at his. She could have told him then.

She’d had an opportunity in college. They’d both been visiting home at the same time and she wandered into the bar he was working at over break. After a few gin and tonics, she thought she’d found the courage to tell him, but one look into his honey brown eyes had sobered her up completely. The moment passed silently. 

She talked herself out of telling him the day he announced he was dating a new girl. Well, not new, exactly. She was new to Katara and her friends, but Zuko had grown up with her. Looking back, Katara knew she should have told him then, while the relationship was new and no deep feelings were involved. Even the day Zuko told his friends he’d asked Mai to marry him would have been better than this. 

Today was Zuko’s wedding day. Until the morning of the ceremony, Katara had almost convinced herself she was over him. She was convinced all the way up until she found herself outside of the groom’s suite, hand raised to knock and carefully looking around to make sure there was no one else around. The hallway was empty, though. As Ty Lee hinted it might be.

Katara had never thought she was a coward, but the day she told Zuko she was in love with him, she realized that when it came to him, she was. 

“You tell me this today?” Zuko began pacing agitatedly. He ran his hand through his hair, upsetting the carefully coiffed style. “It’s my wedding day, Katara! I’m getting married in two hours.” 

“I know,” Katara was near tears, but she pushed through. “I’m sorry, I know this is the worst time to do this to you, but I couldn’t let you go through with this without telling you…” 

“I’m getting married, Katara!” Zuko rounded on her, his eyes wide with panic. “What am I supposed to do? Climb out the window and run away with you?” Katara threw her hands up helplessly. 

“I don’t know.” 

“Do you have any idea how selfish this is?” he demanded. “There’s three hundred people out there expecting me to marry Mai. I can’t just…” Zuko sat down on the sofa and buried his face in his hands. Katara sat in a chair across from him, swallowing hard a few times. 

“I’m sorry I waited so long,” she said quietly. Zuko looked up at her. Katara expected anger in his eyes, but he just looked...lost. 

“Why did you wait?” he asked. “Why now?’ Katara shrugged self-consciously. 

“I...I wanted to tell you years ago,” she admitted. “Then you started dating Mai, and I thought...I mean, you told me loved her. But...the other night, you called me, and…” Katara shook her head and laughed mirthlessly. “You were wasted. You probably don’t even remember what you said.” 

Zuko’s face flushed a deep red. He did remember. He stood up and paced the floor again. 

“I made a promise,” Zuko said quietly. “Not just to Mai, but to both of our families. I can’t...I can’t just walk away from that.” There was a loud scrape across the floor as Katara leapt from her seat.

“Why not?” she demanded. She planted herself in Zuko’s path and looked him in the eye. “Tui and La! Why not? Do you love Mai?” Zuko turned his head away and shut his eyes tight.

“It’s complicated-” he started. 

“No it isn’t!” Katara reached out and caught Zuko’s shirt sleeve. He reluctantly met her gaze. “Do you love her? Yes or no. Because if the answer is yes, I will leave right now. I will go down and sit with our friends, and I will clap and cheer and be happy for you, because all I want is for you to be happy. But if you don’t love her, I want you to know you have options. Even if you don’t feel the same about me, it doesn’t mean you have to choose her. Zuko, this is your life.” 

“Katara, I-”

  
“Do you love her?” Katara felt as though time had stopped. She held Zuko’s gaze for an eternity. Finally he shut his eyes and turned away. 

“I’m marrying Mai,” he said at last. “I’m going to spend the rest of my life with her. Maybe...maybe there could have been something between us once, but… I made a choice, Katara. I’m sorry.” Katara blinked rapidly against the stinging tears. 

“Okay, then,” she said, backing towards the door. “As long as you’re happy. That’s all I want for you.”

“Katara-” 

“I’ll tell Ty Lee you need your hair fixed.” Katara forced a smile and then she fled the room as quickly as she could without running. Zuko made it to the door in time to see Katara disappearing around the corner. 

Ty Lee arrived a few minutes later. Her face was strangely drawn, and if she wondered how Zuko’s hair had gotten messed up, she didn’t ask. In a few short minutes, Zuko’s hair was neatly in place once more, and Ty Lee helped him into his outer robe. She was quieter than Zuko had ever known her to be. It was almost as if she were preparing him for his funeral and not his wedding. When she was done, she stepped back with a firm nod. It was time. Zuko headed to the door. 

“You’re really going through with this?” Zuko almost didn’t hear Ty Lee. He froze with his hands hovering over the door knob. 

“What do you mean?” he asked without turning back.   
“I’ve known you a long time, Zuko,” Ty Lee said. “You will do the honorable thing, no matter how you actually feel. But sometimes, the honorable thing isn’t the right thing.” Zuko sighed in exasperation, and turned to face Ty Lee. 

“Mai is your best friend,” he reminded her. Ty Lee nodded. 

“She is.” With a heavy sigh, she moved past Zuko and opened the door. “Let’s get you married, then.” 

*.*.*.*.*

The ceremony passed in a blur. Zuko didn’t hear half of the blessings recited over him and Mai, and when it was time to exchange vows, Mai had to jab him with her elbow to get him to pay attention. The officiant was looking at him expectantly. It was Zuko’s turn to recite his vows. Flushing, he turned to Mai. She looked...normal. 

There was no joy in her face. No nervousness, or anxiety. She was watching him with a mildly annoyed quirk to her eyebrow, but there was no other indication of how she felt about getting married. It bothered Zuko. He couldn’t have explained why, though. This was who Mai was. She wasn’t given to overt expressions of emotion at any time, but it seemed to Zuko that she ought to feel something on their wedding day. It wasn’t just another boring old day, after all. Her life- both of their lives- were about to change drastically. That should warrant a smile or...something.

“Zuko,” Mai hissed. Well, she was frowning now, anyway. Zuko blinked and looked from Mai to the officiant to the crowd of guests- most of whom he didn’t know. His eyes landed on a row of seats near the back. His friends sat watching him in confusion. All except Katara. Her face was carefully blank, but even at this distance, Zuko could see a storm of emotions in her eyes. He spun back around to Mai. She had been shaken from her somewhat blase expression, and now she looked downright angry. Anger was an emotion she was comfortable expressing, but it wasn’t one that she should be feeling on her wedding day. 

“I-I” Zuko stammered. He stopped and cleared his throat, but that only made the sudden tightening worse. He felt a pit settle in his stomach. Panic. 

“I-” he tried again. His voice cracked, and his eyes swept the crowd again. This time they landed on his father. His brow was drawn down, and there was a thunder cloud darkening his face. Zuko could see Ozai’s shoulders trembling. His father was furious. 

“I-I,” Zuko’s vision swam, and he had to take a greedy gulp of air in. He took a step back from Mai. “I’m sorry.”

“Whatever,” Mai huffed, rolling her eyes. “Just gather your thoughts and say your vows.” A ripple of nervous laughter rolled through the assembly. It was an easy out, and Zuko knew he should take it. He should laugh at himself and make a joke about forgetting his lines, and take Mai’s hands, and finish the ceremony. Instead, he took another step back. 

“I'm sorry,” he said again. “I can’t do this. I-I can’t marry you.” Mai’s eyes widened in shock, and then narrowed sharply. 

“What do you mean you can’t marry me?” she hissed. “What do you think you’re doing?” Zuko wasn’t thinking. That was a move that had often gotten him in trouble. It seemed today would be no different. 

“I...I can’t marry you,” Zuko told her. “It wouldn’t be fair to you- to either of us. I’m...I’m not in love with you. You deserve...you don’t deserve to be stuck with someone who doesn’t love you.” 

The room grew so still, a pin drop could have broken the silence. The air felt oddly electric. For all the world, it felt as if a storm were brewing right there. Behind him, Zuko could feel his father’s intense stare boring holes in his back. Before him, Mai’s face had gone carefully blank, but Zuko could see the faint splotches of red on her cheeks. 

“You don’t love me?” she repeated quietly. “We’ve been together for three years, and you pick our wedding day to tell me you don’t love me.” She wasn’t yelling or crying. That might have been easier to handle. Instead, her lips curled up into a bitter smile. 

“I’m really sorry,” Zuko said. 

“Leave.” Mai’s voice quaked with barely contained rage. Her hand clenched tightly around the bouquet, and Zuko knew with frightening certainty that she would throw it at him in a moment. 

“Mai, I-”

“I said go!” Mai snapped. Zuko felt hands on his shoulders, pulling him towards a side exit. 

“We should get you out of here,” he heard his uncle Iroh say. 

“Wait,” Zuko said as Iroh guided him towards an exit. “I left my things in the dressing room. I don’t have my phone or wallet.” He was also still dressed for a wedding, but he didn’t see a need to point that out. Behind them, the shock seemed to be wearing off, and the wedding party dissolved into a roar of outraged and confused voices. Iroh glanced back, as if looking for pursuers and shuddered. 

“I’ll have someone get your things from your dressing room,” he told Zuko. “I think it would be wisest to make yourself scarce for now.” Zuko could hear Mai’s parents shouting in turns- they must have been speaking into a microphone for how clear they sounded. He wasn’t sure if they were trying to calm the crowd, or whip them into an angry mob, but either way, Zuko decided his uncle was right about the wisdom of leaving. 

Iroh, in some flash of precognition, had declined to have his car parked by valet. He steered his nephew a few blocks from the venue and hurried him into the gold sedan. Then he peeled out after barely shutting his door. 

“I’ll say this for you, you do have a sense for the dramatic,” Iroh chuckled as they drove off, leaving Zuko’s entire life behind them.

“You...you aren’t angry with me?” Zuko asked hesitantly. Iroh spared a glance at his nephew and sighed sadly. 

“No, I’m not angry,” he said. “I wish you had found a better time to call off your wedding, but I’m not angry that you did.” 

“I didn’t know I was going to do it.” Zuko groaned and, balling his fists into his eyes, slid down in his seat. “I had every intention of going through with it. It’s just...I got there and I couldn’t.” 

  
“What happened?” Iroh asked. Zuko shrugged and kept his head ducked. 

“I realized I didn’t love her,” Zuko said. “I don’t think I ever really did. I tried. Believe me, I did. But…” Iroh slowed the car to a stop on the side of the road and turned to face his nephew. 

“Zuko,” he said firmly. His nephew turned to face him sheepishly. “Is there someone else?” Zuko met Iroh’s gaze for half a moment, before turning away, his cheeks flushed with shame.

*.*.*.*.*

It took a week before Zuko could bring himself to leave his apartment. When he finally did, his first excursion was to the post office to drop off the wedding presents to be returned to the generous friends and family who’d given them to the happy couple. Mai had had all of the gifts messengered to his apartment two days after the wedding disaster along with a terse note leaving him the responsibility of dispensing with them. Zuko was happy to be able to do at least this much, and hoped it would begin to make up for ending things the way he had. 

After that, Zuko retreated into the apartment he was supposed to be sharing with Mai, on the couch that she had picked out, surviving on the leftovers from the cocktail hour from the reception they never made it to. In that time he missed calls from his uncle, Ty Lee, Sokka, his uncle, Toph, his uncle, Suki, Aang, then Suki and Sokka on Sokka’s phone, and his uncle once again. Each one of Iroh’s messages sounded more worried than the last, but Zuko couldn’t bring himself to respond to anyone. He had just torpedoed his own life. There was no way they could understand. 

He hadn’t heard from Katara at all. Not that Zuko expected to. Not after how their last conversation had gone. Still, the traitorous voice in the back of his mind urged him to hope that-

_**BZZZZ** _   
_**BZZZZ** _

Zuko lifted his head from the pillow and peered blearily at his phone. He’d received a text from Katara. 

_Hey_

  
Zuko stared at his phone for a long while, but there was no follow up message. 

*.*.*.*.*

After almost two weeks of living like a hermit, Zuko finally found the motivation to break his solitude. He pulled himself off of the couch, threw on a hood and picked a direction. The sun was close to setting, which was fine with him. He craved the anonymity of the dark as much as he craved fresh air. What he truly wanted was to get lost for a while. 

This bustling city was not a place one could get lost in. Try as he might, there were no new turns to take. His feet soon found a familiar path and Zuko gave up fighting his instinct. He barely glanced up at the familiar noodle restaurants, tea shops and bars. He didn’t slow at all until he turned down the last street. 

It was a mistake, Zuko knew it the moment he realized where his feet were carrying him. He knew he should turn around and go back to his apartment and hide until his boss told him he’d run out of vacation time. He should leave before he did something stupid and throw gas on the rolling dumpster fire he’d made of his life. But he didn’t leave. He pulled the door of the bookshop open and stepped inside. 

Katara felt his arrival before she saw him. She’d never be able to explain why, but the atmosphere always seemed to change when Zuko entered. She took just enough time to finish ringing up her last customer for the day before she let herself check. Sure enough, she turned to see him, standing in the doorway, hair disheveled and several days worth of stubble on his face. When he realized that she’d seen him, his shoulders bunched up around his ears, and Katara could see the signs of him preparing to bolt. 

“Hey,” she greeted him before he could leave. 

“Um...hey,” he said. 

“What are you doing here?” Katara asked. Zuko shrugged nervously, shifting from foot to foot. 

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry,” he said. “About...you know, what happened.” Katara shook her head with a rueful smile. 

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about,” she told him. “You had every right to be upset with me. I shouldn’t have said anything then. Maybe…”

“I would’ve married Mai,” Zuko said. “If you hadn’t said anything, I would have gone through with the wedding, and we’d be married, and I’d be miserable. And I’m not apologizing for getting upset. I’m apologizing for lying to you.”

“What?” Katara blinked in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“I told you that I used to have feelings for you,” Zuko explained. He ran his hand through his hair nervously. Katara sighed and shook her head. 

“Zuko, seriously, you don’t have to-”

“No!” Zuko cut her off. “No, I do have to say this. Katara, I love you. And I’m sorry I never said anything. I’ve loved you for years, but I never thought you might feel the same, so I tried to force myself to move on. But then...I was up at that altar with Mai and I realized that I hadn’t moved on. Not even slightly. And, I’m sure I blew it, but I had to tell you.” 

Katara stared at Zuko in stunned silence. Zuko’s face flushed an even deeper red as he waited for her to...do something. 

Finally, after the silence had drawn into eternity, Zuko took a step back. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I know that door is closed now. I just wanted you to know…” Zuko threw his hands to his sides. He took another step back. “But I shouldn’t have bothered you.” 

“Wait.” Katara’s voice wavered uncertainly. Her brow was furrowed with what might have been fear or anger. She took a deep breath and met his eyes. “Did you call off the wedding for me?” Zuko opened his mouth to reply immediately, but then stopped. Then for the first time since he’d proposed to Mai he considered his next move. 

“No,” he said at last. “I called off the wedding for me. Because you were right. It is my life, and I have to start taking responsibility for myself. And…” Zuko swallowed against a sudden lump in his throat. 

“And…” Katara prompted him. 

“And,” Zuko took a deep breath and tried again. “And I’d never be able to forgive myself if I let you go without at least trying… Even if you say no, I just wanted to tell you that I love you. More than I’ve ever loved anyone. And if you’ll forgive me for not saying something sooner- years ago- I’d like to try to make it up to you.” 

Zuko froze when he saw tears in Katara’s eyes as she ducked her head. Time froze and Zuko felt the familiar bubble of panic rising in his chest. At least, he thought, there’s no audience this time. But then Katara looked up again, and she smiled.

“I’ll have to make up for that, too,” she said. She reached out and took Zuko’s hand. His heart thudded against his rib cage, and then nearly erupted when she turned her soulful eyes up to him. “Are you sure?”

  
“Absolutely,” Zuko said immediately. “It’s only ever been you for me, and I’m sorry- I’m so sorry that I never told you before.” 

“Alright then.” Katara closed the distance between them and tentatively draped her arms around Zuko’s neck.

“Er….” Zuko felt heat rise into his face until he was sure he was glowing. Katara raised an eyebrow and tilted her head to the side expectantly. 

“Well?” she prompted. “Are you going to make it up to me or what?” With an embarrassed chuckle, leaned the rest of the way in and finally, finally kissed his best friend. 

**Author's Note:**

> For Magnitude101. Happy Zutara Holiday Exchange! I tried to give you a rom-com. I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
